Feminist Beyonce Literary Theory

(E)
Literary ladies, literary ladies (x4) – Now put your books UP!

(E)
Open a book, damn girl look --- All the men be oppressin’ me!
But not anymore, I took it to the floor,  it’s a feminist epiphany.
Androgyny is ideal, that’s how Woolf feels, but why can’t we be special?
'Cuz in the end, sexist men, they be tryin to deme-ean me-ee.

(A)
If you writin’ then you better think feminism
If you writin’ then you better think feminism
I’mma do it just because I am a she-woman
If you writin’ then you better think feminism o-o-o

(E)
Austen knows that she's got prose, but the language leads her to a snag
Men have a claim on lit’rature’s domain, and for ladies that’s a real big drag
We have got a voice, too, and I’ll tell you, that it’s our very own language!
So when a girl writes it’s gonna be tight, lady novelists have got a right to brag!

(A)
If you writin’ then you better think feminism
If you writin’ then you better think feminism
I’mma do it just because I am a she-woman
If you writin’ then you better think feminism

(E)
o-o-o, o-o-o (x4)

(E)
First there’s guys, I see it in their eyes, they be puttin' the oppression on us.
But now my friend, we gonna start a trend, help the ladies build the canon on up!
Writing In the 70's? it was heavenly! Gettin' every lady’s words out,
We write with our hips, not with our dicks, and you bet we gonna ha-ave so-ome fu-un!

(A)
If you writin’ then you better think feminism
If you writin’ then you better think feminism
I’mma do it just because I am a she-woman
If you writin’ then you better think feminism

(E)
o-o-o!

Benjamin and Adorno: The "Frankfurt's Cool"

Lacan I get back to you?

Having read Lacan's "Mirror Stage as Formative of the I function," as well as Fry's chapter on Lacan, I have a lot of questions. I will attempt to answer them based on my recognition of the terms that confused me.

Q: What is Gestalt?
A: a type of pickled fish, related to Gefilte, often pronounced in a thick New-York accent and found in Kosher delis. Ex: "Oy vey, the Gestalt is mighty fine this afternoon!"

Q: What is the function of the mirror stage?
A: to establish a relationship between an organism and its reality, assuming that that organism is an actor and his reality is that of a reflective surface upon which he acts.

Q: What is the Ideal I?
A: about two months and ten pounds ago.

Q: What is Imagos?
A: a type of frozen, breakfast pastry that can be prepared in a toaster ---  well known for the marketing slogan "Gimme my Imagos, Amigos!"

Q: What is "The Gaze"?
A: a medical bandage which has itself undergone a recent surgery to remove the pesky letter "u"

Q: Why do we keep talking about the penis?
A: This is actually "hashtag" (#) type of catchphrase, used in a time when people were obsessed with their pens and their perfect figures. Whether your pen is expensive, big, classy, or multi-colored, you can use the term #penis to mean "pen is..." implying that you have some sort of #swag that other #pens #lack.

Q: What is Geist?
A: See Gestalt.

Q: What is the relationship between big "S" and little "s" in "S/s"?
A: Well, you see, when a big "S" and a little "s" love and desire each other very much...

Q: What is a "Sheaf"?
A: Neither miserly nor spiteful #penis

Q: What is language?
A: a rebus --- the first bus was too small to contain all the "S/s"s.

Correction: Language is awesome.

Your Mother

Wow, what a weird, whirlwind weekend. First I sat down to read Freud's article on the Uncanny. He explains at length, through pages of dictionary definitions, that the German word for Uncanny ("Unheimlich") is supposedly synonymous, in some ways, with its opposite ("Heimlich")... which really just makes me think of the Heimlich maneuver. But the point of the article was to point out that the uncanny in literature really comes from that which was previously known (either from the history of mankind or from infancy) and has since been repressed. For example: It's not weird at all when, as children, we play with dolls and pretend that they are alive. Who else are you going to have tea-parties with, if not Barbie, Baby Newborn, and Mr. Bear? But as adults, after we understand fully that stuffed animals and human-like toys are NOT animate, the idea or inclination of their animacy becomes uncanny, and it freaks us out.

Talking tow-trucks, telepathy, and trippy-ness take totally tame territory from time to time: Anything impossible in our own reality might be possible, even expected, in an alternate reality. This is why, depending no the context of the plot, the uncanny and its opposite can be one in the same. In fairy-tales, we assume that certain things are going to happen that we would not expect from a novel that portrays what we interpret as "real life." For instance: If a tree reprimands Dorothy for picking its apples as she walks down down the yellow-brick road, it may be surprising, but not uncanny because of the fantastical context. On the other hand, if a tree says a polite hello to John Doe as he walks through Central Park, that's effed up, and our rational minds are forced to explain the action: Do we believe that trees can talk? That John has a special ability to communicate with trees? That he is insane? We don't know, and the possibility of irrational explanations makes this uncanny.

Finally, Fry focuses on further Freudian Forays into Fiction. We look at the novel as a story with a beginning, middle, and end. But if the beginning gives you a problem, and the end gives you a solution (or resolution), then why do we need the middle? We all like a page-turner, which usually results from lots of problems and suspense and worry. Why do we like that? Freud says that we all seek our own pleasure, and that “the aim of all life is death” --- that’s why we dig close calls and narrow escapes in fiction, and why trauma patients always come back to their traumatic experiences, at least from what I understand --- Because we want to become masters of death, and therefore relish the rehearsal of artfully avoiding it until the right time comes. I don’t know if I understand that whole idea, but I think I can get behind it…

Maybe mankind is masochistic, making the middle more morbid? That’s what I’m getting from Freud and Brooks in this chapter. This is what moves the plot of the story: the desire to Master death, which follows Freud’s pleasure principle: The delay of death, our conquering of death-defying or just plain scary situations, supposedly brings us pleasure. This is why we have plot, and why novels tend to be of a certain length and only give so much suspense: enough, but not too much. Am I getting this?

...Creepy concepts combined with the craziness of collective consciousness are quite curious to consider. It's uncanny!

Oh, the Digital Humanity!

Why, yes, I am a command-prompting computer wizard. Why, just look at my DATA! See all that Data over there? Yes. Mine. I did that. With... CODE MAGIC.

...or something.

Although this screenshot (in my opinion) makes me look like a computer wizard, the question it answers is fairly simple. I set out to find a program that could tell me which words within the text of Gogol's Dead Souls occurred most frequently in each chapter. This is called "Topic Modelling," looking at word-frequency to build a set of topic words for different sections of text (in this case, chapters of a book). The program I found was called "Mallet," which seemed the most likely to get the job done.


The biggest problem that I encountered (which I encountered with various DH programs and tools that I tried out, mainly Voyant and Tagxedo) was in working with Russian text. Cyrillic characters can be a problem, of course, but the structure of Russian words makes them harder to map (even if the program can process Cyrillic). Because the Russian grammatical system works by changing the endings of words, most programs won't recognize two words as identical if they are used in different grammatical constructions. The word девушка, for instance, means "girl," but can be written as девушка, девушку, девушкой, девушке, or девушки depending on the grammatical context. although these are all the same word, a program that analyzes words as entire units won't see it that way, and my data becomes useless.

So, is there a solution? For those of you who speak Russian and read Cyrillic, you will notice in the top left-hand side of my screen shot is some unintelligible text --- this is a modified version of Gogol's Dead Souls, from which I attempted to remove all of the grammatical endings. Although this seemed like a good idea, it did not solve the problem of stop-words. Of course, the list of stop-words in all of the programs I worked with were English, which did me no good when working with a Russian text. After scrubbing the text clean of endings and finding lists of Russian stop-words to add to my program (the series of folders in the upper right-hand corner) via the command prompt (lower right-hand corner), I came up with a messy pile of word-pieces that hardly represented the data that I was looking for.

But was time wasted? Definitely not. The squeaky-clean version of my Russian text came in handy for making word-clouds, just to see which words showed up most often within the entire novel. Interesting to see, and potentially useful, but not exactly what I was going for --- I wanted chapter-by-chapter division. After getting the hang of the Mallet program and some basic command-prompting, I just entered a full English translation of the text to be Topic-mapped, and the results are the lists of English words that take up most of my screen-shot. I had expected to see some food-related words up there, and was happy to see that "sturgeon," "dish," and "egg" made the cut, but I wasn't blown away by the results as a whole. It was cool to try topic-mapping, and I think this could definitely be useful once I get a better idea of what this program is capable of.

In the meantime, I'll stick to what I know. With regard to the Russian text, and finding instances of food-vocabulary, I took 2 minutes and came up with the gallery of images below. I literally just hit Ctrl+f to find where in the Russian text I could find different food-related words like bread, fish, sturgeon, sugar, pastry... AND (is it just my computer that is this awesome, or is it google chrome, or what?) when I search that way, a little side-bar shows up that highlights where exactly in the text each example is found, and i can see the distribution in little yellow highlights. This is just an example of how DH-applicable extras have already been integrated into systems that we use all the time. Sad to say, but I think this was more interesting/useful/relevant than the hours I spent learning how to code and topic-map... but I will not be discouraged.

Conclusion: "Screwing around" with a DH tool is all good and well, if you just want to learn the capabilities of that tool and see how it MIGHT be applicable to your research. All of the tools I tried were fun, interesting, and could have potential use in my project, or future projects. If you already know what you're looking for, however, finding the right DH tool can be a problem... but it doesn't have to be as complicated as you think!

#DH4lyfe

Deconstructing Derrida with Paul Fry

TEXT

a text in one text

Scene: Sarah Chao enters stage right, sits down at her desk and opens her laptop, humming to herself. She carefully takes a few books out of her backpack, sets them on the desk beside her open computer, and, looking satisfied at their placement, looks back another computer screen with adetermined sigh. She begins to read.

Sarah: (reading) Jacques Derrida’s “Signature Event Context...” Hmm… (pause) "Structure, Sign, and Play." (pause) um… okay…

Marquis: FORTY MINUTES LATER… 

Sarah: (still reading) (with frustration and angst) Er…. Uh… (throwing her hands in the air) What?? (puts a hand to her forehead in despair) How can anyone make sense of this?

Paul H. Fry: (swooping in from stage left and landing softly, gracefully, as if a superhero arriving to save a damsel in distress) What seems to be the trouble, Ma’am?

Sarah: (shocked) Oh, Fry, it’s you! What are you doing here? You’ve never come to my rescue before!

Fry: (Straightening his shoulders, fists on hips, elbows bent and gazing off into the distance like Superman) Well, I heard that you have "found Derrida very difficult" (125)* and I have come to your assistance!

Sarah: (standing up, looking skeptical) Oh… Well, how can you help? Can you explain it? What does it all mean?

Fry: (looking down, smiling) Well, Sarah, (chuckling) what do you think of Derrida?

Sarah: (unimpressed, scratching her head) Uh, well, I think he’s a troll, and more specifically I think he wants to crush my dreams about structuralism. 

Fry: (knowingly) I don’t think you’re far off, there. While Derrida may be “one of the most formidable and influential figures in our reading” (123), he is also kind of a… (pauses)

Sarah: …A jerk?

Fry: (furrowing his brow) You said it, not me.

Sarah: (smiling, now) I sure did. (crossing her arms) I mean, what I’m getting out of all of this is that Derrida stole Levi-Strauss’s thunder by simultaneously supporting his arguments and ripping them apart, and consequentially replacing the structuralism-hype of the times with this deconstructionism mumbo-jumbo, which makes the poem I wrote a couple weeks ago seem WAY less cool.

Fry: (really frowning now)(steps forward, rubbing his chin) I mean, if you think about it, your poem took some steps toward this analysis as well: “signifier signified by signified,, signified signified by signifier,” right? Which, according to Derrida, is as messy as you make it seem in your alliteration. A signifier is signified by a multitude of other signifiers, and they bleed together endlessly.

Sarah: (wrinkling her nose) …Is that a problem?

Fry: Well, that chain is troublesome, since it eliminates the concept of one signifier relating to one signified and vice-versa.

Sarah: (frowning) Oh. Okay. Well… Umm…

Fry: (concerned) Sarah, you seem stressed. Isn’t it late? Don’t you think it’s time to go to bed? We can talk more about Deconstruction in the next chapter, with a little less Derrida.

Sarah: (looking at the clock on the wall) Oh no, I’ve got so much other work to do! SO much WRITING!

Fry: (putting his hand on Sarah’s shoulder) It’s okay. Get some sleep. But before you go, I have to tell you: This conversation never happened.

Sarah: (confused) Wait… you mean, I’m dreaming?

Fry: (shaking his head) Oh no, you’re not dreaming. But this, all of it, (gestures to everything around: The clock, the desk, the computer, and all of the other words on this page) this is all just ...TEXT.

fin.

Signs and Signifiers

what is semiotics and how can you be
SauSsure
?

not literature not
but
and
but SCIENCE

not sound not
but
and
but sound image, an imprint of sound, a psychological imprint

signifier signified by signified,, signified signified by signifier ==  sign not word not sword concept not concert
arbitrary schmarbitrary arboretum cerebellum( bcuz n e 1 kan yooz simbuls BUT the sign is divine.        

)une langue du parole. Да ладно.


Syntagms, feel my presence. Giving context to ascribe value.
Associations, wheel my absence. Faking connections bike ice-cream favors.

hence




THREE TWO ONE ANYONE ANYBODY ANYTHING SOMETHING EVERYTHING THINGS THINKS SINKS WINKS BLINKS BLINKING EYES SIGHT SOUND TOUCH  is determined by what it is not, until it becomes a sign.

Opposition, my dear Watson!

"Language is a system of pure values" or a sweet sheet of paper ::

sound
-------(linguistics)-------
                    thought


SCIENCE
science sounds good.

The Tale of Russian Formalism

Once upon a time, in a far-away land (where things made more sense than in Newhaven, Connecticut), there was born an idea, whose name was RUSSIAN FORMALISM. Russian Formalism was a curious child, and quite clever. She dearly loved to read, but often asked herself: “What is this material that I so love to absorb, this delectable form that I devour as I peruse my library?” Her fathers, Boris Eichenbaum and Roman Jakobson, did tell her: “This is what most people call Literature, my dear. It is a sort of science.”

“But what is it made of?” Asked Russian Formalism. “What is the formula and how many are the elements of such a science? Indeed, what is literariness?”

Thus began the young idea’s journey to explore the science of literature --- Not how to study it, but what it actually is. In her wild search, she set out looking for theories, rather than concrete definitions: Theories can evolve, adapt, and change to fit her material! A rather more exciting creature to hunt than a simple, idle definition, to be sure. (After all, “Science lives not by seeing truth, but by overcoming error.”)

As Russian Formalism broadened her field of research, she began to spread beyond all previous methodological limits to develop a very special science of literature, which in itself was a specific ordering of facts. Facts, of course, were her very favorite things, and she collected a great many over the course of her adventures.

That is not to say that her quest was an easy one! On the contrary, it seemed that every new step of her expedition brought great peril, and in fact she began having a peculiar sort of identity crisis.  In the beginning, she walked straight into the wild forest of Aesthetics, where she was lost for quite some time, and although she grew to like the place, she knew she had to move on to more navigable paths. She then met a great bard by the name of Potebnya the Symbolist, who tried to charm her with his poetry and song. He did have a most beautiful voice, but in the end, they parted ways: For our heroine could only focus on Form, while Potebnya was obsessed with symbols! In the end he had slandered her, and she narrowly escaped her doom when she realized that she missed the sweet songs of the bard, and came upon a new theory: “Why, what about sound? Sound is subservient to nothing!” What an invaluable fact to add to her collection. She began to think of rhythm and meter as linguistic components, rather than just frivolous distraction.

As Russian Formalism evolved, she learned many new things. She traveled to the seas Plot and Story, navigating the boundary between the two where the waters churned beneath her vessel. But she waited out the storm and was able to see clearly to the sea-bed beneath, wherein did lie the secret that Plot was really just the structure of Story! She witnessed the waters of the Story flowing through the currents of the Plot as the seas calmed under her steady, scientific gaze. This taught her that the most important part of her science would be to focus on a single device, which she could apply to innumerable examples of literature!

Thoroughly satisfied with the fact that there was no concrete answer to her question, Russian Formalism returned home to her fathers. Her homecoming was a joyous occasion, and they lived together in peace, happiness, and order until their unfortunate demise. The great Villain, Trotsky, who had plagued them for years, released his evil decree of “Literature and Revolution,” which left the poor family nameless and destitute. Our poor heroine, Russian Formalism, was tragically and fatally wounded in the attack. As she lay on her deathbed, her fathers weeping above her, she assured them of this: Though she may die, her journey would never end.

Thus concludes the tale of Russian Formalism.

Higher Education in Russia, Pt. 2 (Variations on a theme)

So, in regard to my previous Higher Education post, I happened to come across a fabulous set of data giving the percentage of people over the age of 25 who hold a higher degree of some kind in 132 different countries. Guess who comes in first? There's no competition --- it's Russia.

With over 60% of the 25-and-over population holding a higher degree, it looks almost like Russia is handing out college degrees like candy (especially when compare to the second- and third-place countries in this race, Belarus and Canada, having significantly lower stats of 47.7% and 50.2%, respectively).

If you bothered to check out that graph that I'm referencing, you could see that the United States comes in at 40.7%, which looks pretty mediocre, depending on how you want to interpret all of this data: Other than as a straight-up, Higher-Education pissing contest (a perfectly internet-worthy application of these stats), you can defend these numbers with research to better understand the culture of Higher Education in any one of these countries. I'm going to write about the cultural implications that contribute to this, but you know, since we are on the internet, I'll go ahead and say it: Russia wins!

But seriously, how and why does Russia hold the gold in this competition, especially by so great a margin? Well, I think part of it relates to my previous post explaining the importance of higher education to a Russian's individual identity: When the question "Who are you?" is culturally equivalent to asking about someone's education, it makes sense that over half the population would want to earn a higher degree.

It is definitely worth noting that, as defined for  this study, earning a higher degree means "completion of postsecondary education that is theoretically based and prepares students to gain entry into advanced research programs or high-skilled professions, or that provides participants with a labor-market qualification in an occupation or trade." Thus, the high percentage might also be accredited to the post-soviet rollover of higher education programs and institutions in specific trades, for which other countries may not have degree programs.

Obligatory military service is another game-changer in this race: All Russian young men between the ages of 18-27 are required to serve in the military for at least one year. However, since there is little-to-no patrioic connection with this obligatory service, and especially due to reports of widespread,violent hazing in the Russian military, many young men choose to enroll in university to postpone their service. Another option, if you aren't medically excused from service, is to offer a bribe, but that's much more expensive than paying for a college education.

In fact, University is usually free for students in Russia, depending on their grades and exam scores. There are usually a certain number of "Free" spots in any given program, which are awarded to the best applicants, but others can choose to enroll as paying students. Each university has a different going rate, but I got the impression that it could cost anywhere from $500 - $5,000 USD per year to enroll as a paying student (I paid $1,000 for a year in university as a foreign student in Irkustk, FYI).

So, there you have it folks, Higher Education in Russia: Axiomatic, Applicable, Attractive, and Accessible. Does that make Russians are more well-educated? Not necessarily, but it sure leads to some impressive numbers.

Beginnings in Literary Theory

I have a terrible confession to make: I have never studied literature.

Ok, I know I am a graduate student in a languages and literatures department, but I've never really touched the stuff. Ready for confession number two? I've never really studied Philosophy, either. Imagine my dismay when Paul Fry told me that Literary Theory is kind of like Philosophy --- "Oh really? Great. That helps me a lot, Paul."

In reading the first two chapters of Professor Fry's Lecture series on Literary Theory, I confirmed my belief that I am SO not ready for this. But you know what? I don't think I'm the only one who feels this way... So, in case any of you out there feel like I do, then, you know, "this one's for you" as they say.

Since I'm already confessing, I think I should explain that I didn't really spend much time with Academia, and our relationship never really took-off. I got my BA in three years, I graduated in 2011, and I got the hell out of Dodge. Since that time, I haven't been able to stay in one place for more than a few months. I travel, I teach, I work, I sing, I eat great food, and I speak a lot of Russian because it makes me happy.

So, back to Fry --- I was thankful at first that Fry was going to break everything down for me (baby steps, Sarah, you can do this): First of all what is Literature? Great question! ...Too bad there isn't really an answer, since it all basically came down to "Literature is whatever your community thinks it is." Ok, Fry, I like that --- we're keeping an open mind as to what literature can be. That's chill.

Step #2: Define Theory. Theory? Oh yeah, that's a lot like... practice. Well, depending on how you look at it. It could be practice, but it doesn't have to have an application, so it's basically just speculation. And not only that, it is LIMITLESS speculation --- you can apply literary theory to ANY literature: Children's books? Hell yeah, Fry gets me.

I also get to be a skeptic, Fry tells me, which I love to hear --- because honestly, I've always thought of both literary theory and criticism as a whole lot of B.S. (Academic B.S., mind you --- I hold it in high regard!) and I'm happy that Fry seems to understand this opinion as well. Aparently this skepticism makes literary theory different from philosophy, but I have to disagree there --- maybe that's because my definition of literature is broader than Fry's (He is the Author, but as he mentions in the second chapter, that doesn't necessarily mean I am going to take him as an authority. Did I get that right? Oh boy...)

The following pages define more terms, like "introduction" and "reader," as Fry continues to pull more philosophers and writers out of their graves to teach me that Literary theory is a big fat mess, that history has changed the way we view and teach theory, and that there a bunch of different schools that I can subscribe to: Skeptics, see Freud! My issue is that I don't know a lick about Freud, or Nietzche, or Marx or Cervantes orKantorDescartesorFoucault (though I can pronounce their names, do I get a cookie for that?).

I got to the end of chapter two and thought to myself: "Well. There's my introduction..." but after reading it a second time (and a third, and a fourth), I decided for myself that an introduction isn't supposed to make perfect sense. Fry himself reassured me when he said, at the end of his second lecture, "So much then for those introductory lectures, which have touched lightly on key topics that we'll keep circling back to."

...You mean we're gonna talk about this in more detail later, so that I can get a better understanding of what the heck is going on? Aw, shucks --- Thanks, Fry.

Creating a Market for Higher Education in Russia

As an American living in Russia, there was one question that frustrated me more than any other: “Кто вы по образованию?” // “What do you do?” It’s a seemingly harmless inquiry, and a normal thing to ask of someone you have just met, but the question directly translated means something more along the lines of “What were you TRAINED to do?” (literally, “Who are you, by education?”). As a 20-something graduate of a private liberal-arts college in the United States, it was nearly impossible to answer.

For the academic year of 2012-2013, I was awarded Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship in the Department of American Studies at Irkutsk State Linguistic University. It seemed logical to label myself as a language teacher, but even with two years of teaching experience, I couldn't be taken seriously since I did not earn a degree in language pedagogy. Arguments against liberal arts aside, The Russian System of Higher Education has been lagging behind the West in that until 2010, all students entering University enrolled in what is called a “Specialist” degree program, for which they studied for five years and had little to no flexibility in their class schedules. If a student enrolls in a University for a Specialist degree in Accounting, for instance, chances are that every class they take will be fixed, and directly related to the profession of accounting. The specialist degree was what gave you the license to work in that field: Therefore, whoever you were "by education" was, theoretically, the only professional thing you could really do --- and thus became a huge part of one's identity.

This structure was preserved from the Soviet Union, and was meant to produce a specific number of professionals to fulfill the social need in each field. When the Soviet Union collapsed, however, universities across Russia doubled their enrollment as they began accepting paying students. Suddenly everyone wanted to become a “Specialist” while the demand for professionals couldn’t keep up. Many people I met in Russia were trained as psychologists, sociologists, or even medical doctors, and have ended up in service positions, or simply unemployed --- but they all still identified themselves according to their Specialist degree.

In a recent article posted by Times Higher Education, the Russian shift to the more universal 4-year B.A. + 2-year M.A. structure is praised as a step in the right direction, although admittedly latecoming. Similar reforms have succeeded in China, which instituted its changes in the early '90s. Russia hopes to follow by their example and attract a greater foreign student body, essentially turning Higher Education into a business that can pull revenue into Russian HEIs for improving their programs and thus increasing their international rankings, which is their overarching goal:

"Only in 2012 did the Russian government pledge to resolve this issue, pledging to ensure that five Russian universities are ranked in the top 100 in the world by 2020." - Times Higher Education

The goal is ambitious, but not unattainable. Time will tell whether through the streamlining of higher education and reorganization of professional programs offered in Russian universities can attract foreign investment to what could now be considered a Market of Higher Education.

I BalaLIKEa it.

Lack of posting over the summer has mainly been due to my camp-counselor alter-ego, who we will call "Яблоко" (Pronounced YAH-bluh-kuh and meaning Apple). Яблоко is an awesome counselor at a certain Russian-language summer camp which offers a complete linguistic and cultural immersion experience for their campers. In line with the cultural side of things, we have a lovely collection of Balalaikas. If you don't know what a balalaika is, you are about to find out (or you just clicked on the link, and now you have a general idea).

While Яблоко is normally way too busy for any such distraction, this year part of her orientation included a master-class on Balalaika, and she was immediately hooked. The results were devastating. See here:

Now, seeing as the balalaika collection belongs to the camp, Яблоко had a good four weeks during which she was able to occasionally sneak away, in the dark of night, and practice a few chords on her little triangular three-string. After that, however, it was time to come home, and the balalaika she loved was packed away in a rubbermaid box with all of its balalaika buddies, not to be seen or heard from until next summer. Tragic, I know. And thus began my search for a balalaika of my very own.

As soon as I made it back to civilization, I stopped in to my local music store where I asked the strange question: "This is a longshot, but do you know where I might find a balalaika?" Of course, it was a longshot, and "I know a guy who might know a guy..." line was the best I could get. Later on, my wonderful, beautiful aunt called me and said "Hey Sarah, did you try taking alook at the local music shop?" which prompted my re-telling of the whole scenario, and the bleak prospects that it had offered. "Oh," she replied with a confused tone, "because I was just there, and I saw what I am pretty sure is a balalaika. You should go back and check, because when I asked what it was, no one at the shop seemed to know what a balalaika would look like anyway! But there it was, three strings, triangle-shaped and all..."

My aunt didn't get a chance to complete her thought, because I was already in my car driving back to the music store where I walked into the back room and saw with my own two eyes a BEAUTIFUL specimen, albeit covered in years off dust and equipped with strings dating back to the soviet union. In his own defense, the shopkeeper admitted that "You know, as soon as you left the other day, I got to thinkin'... isn't that a balalaika? But ya know, I just wasn't sure!" Frustrated (but elated at the idea of having something to play), I ask "Any idea how much you would sell it for?" ...The response killed me: "Oh, not a clue! And to tell the truth, that's an original right there, and I wouldn't want to sell it to just anyone..."So, there went the balalaika. Back to sit on the shelf, collecting dust, because I wasnt going to shell out an impressive sum for an "original" soviet balalaika that originally cost 5 rubles and 40 kopeks. 

...But thank goodness, we have Ebay! And on Ebay, no one knows exactly what a balalaika is either, which is why you can find plenty of them up for auction titled "RUSSIAN VINTAGE GUITAR UKULELE BALALAIKA DOMRA HIGH QUALITY FROM USSR PLAYS NICE!!" The prices are reasonable, especially the "original" (haha) soviet leftovers --- but knowing me, I couldn't buy one for $150 when there were auctions starting as low as $30! So I wait, refreshing the ebay page on my phone for two days, waiting until the last minutes of an auction to bid $36 dollars on a beautiful little balalaika that was shipped to my house three days later! What bliss! Finally, she is here! She just needs a little oil on the tuners, and she's ready to go! I am so pumped and immediately show my dad, who, in an attempt to fix it himself, FLICKS one of the stuck tuning pegs and SNAPS. IT. IN. HALF.

Ok. Whatever. I just need to get new tuners. It needed them anyway, right? How hard can those be to find? I talk to Music store man, who tells me that normally a set of machine heads will run around $20 --- perfect! But we need BALALAIKA machine heads. And where can you get those? Anybody know the answer??? Anybody????

...

...

...Nowhere.

As I scour the internet for days, I find a meager list of closed businesses, luthiers who repair traditional string instruments, and specialty balalaika websites that haven't been updated since 2009 (either way, they are SOLD OUT of balalaika machine heads, as it says in their product description). I resort to calling and emailing each business on the list, which leads only to unanswered emails and just as many phone conversations where disgruntled Russian men tell me "You can't find them in US, nowhere you can find them. Only I make them custom, you come to my shop, you pay $100, is only way." I am starting to believe them, because so far, everywhere I look, I have come up empty.

And this, my friends, is where I stand. This is my life. I can only hope that I have better luck next week when I move to Kansas, where I may just buy-up every UKRAINIAN FOLK GUITAR AUTHENTIC THREE STRING TUNES UP NICE that ebay has to offer. Until then, I will be camping on Lake Isabella with Dad and ignoring every single one of you :) BWCA 2014 Wooh!

Love,

Sarah

Unfamiliar Territory

For the past few years I have been writing blogs about my travels and experience around Eastern Europe, which some people maybe even read. While I wish I could continue traveling indefinitely, all good things must come to an end (or at least a pause). So, coming this Fall, I'll be writing about life in a different context: Cut to the next chapter in my life, in which Sarah Chao does...

...Kansas.

Yes. Wow. I know. But hey guys, Kansas is a pretty spectacular place from what I have seen so far --- I took a mini road-trip down to Lawrence last weekend, where I will be enrolled at KU's MA program in Slavic Languages and Literature for the next two years (potentially longer if I decide to go on to PhD, but I'm gonna say that's not happening... maybe I'll write about that decision later). The city was hoppin', the campus was beautiful, and the department had everything I was looking for. Plus the financial support they gave me was so good I couldn't turn it down --- They are basically paying me to go there (which I guess is normal for Kansas, among other places)

So, we'll see if I can do something crazy and write about life in my home country for once, eh?  Because in the meantime, I am still here in Minnesota where I will keep teaching, hopefully doing a little bit of music, and speaking Russian when the opportunity presents itself. I also still have to reflect on my most recent trip to Russia as a Fellow for the US-Russia Social Expertise Exchange (which ended with a Californian adventure, so I guess I could write about that, too.)

Getting ready to live in Black and White!

Sarah

Петрозаводск // Petrozavodsk

Okay, okay, it's about time for another post. I know it's been a while, but I just want to share with you all a little bit about Petrozavodsk (where I was until, oh, about two weeks ago). Who knew that way up near Finland, I would find myself in the Russian sister-city of DULUTH?

"Duluth Fisherman" in Petrozavodsk

Yeah, that's right. This is one of the first places I have been to in Russia where people know where Minnesota is, and some of them have even BEEN there! Example:

(Scene: on a crowded bus with one of our hosts in Petrozavodsk)

Host: So, where are you from?

Me: Minnesota

Host: Oh! Minnesota! Do you know the city Duluth?

Me: Um, yes, of course --- wait a minute, you know Duluth? That's crazy!

Host: Yes, actually, I've been there.

Me: Wow, why?

Host: They are our sister city, and we organized a boat-making exchange. Two Minnesotans came here and made birch-bark canoes, and I went to Duluth!

Me: That is totally crazy, I never meet people in Russia who have even HEARD of Minnesota!

Man sitting behind us: (taps me on shoulder) Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you from Minnesota?

Me: Yes?

Man: Oh, That's wonderful! My son lives in Minnesota, and I was just in Duluth last year, what a great city!

Mind... 

...Blown.

But really, when you go to this city, it makes total sense why it is buddy-buddy with Duluth. I mean, just look at the snow on that frozen lake, and the smiles that come from romping all around it! We might as well be in Northern Minnesota, amirite?

Lake Superior? Noooo, lake Onezhskaya!

Silly Americans Romping

On a side-note, I also got to hold a real-live olympic torch, which there are like, a crazy lot of. Thousands. Seriously. But here's one, a real one, even has torch marks on it from when it was lit!

And as my fellowship in Russia came to an end, I grew incredibly lazy with my blogging because I was too busy hanging out with ALL THE AMINALS!

Aminal

Aminals

Aminalz

Aminal...

Aminal?

AMINAL

Love,

Sarah